The longest night of the year

This year there was a total lunar eclipse in the early morning hours of the winter Solstice. The moon appeared red, to those that could see it. I stayed up most of the night, even though it was too cloudy here to see the moon. Sitting in the dark with just a few candles, thinking about where I have been, and where I am going. Who am I? Who do I want to be?

To me an eclipse is an omen of rapid and profound changes. On the darkest night of the year, the sky went even darker. I am in my very own darkest hours. But now I know things will only get better. I know, even if I can't see it in the dark, the LIGHT is always there.  

*reflecting*

Honor the Dead

Today was a beautiful Fall day. It was warm and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. October is a time to honor the dead. So we decided to visit Mt. Hope Cemetery. Its so pretty there. I see at least one of the red tailed hawks that live there every time I visit. Today the colors of Fall were really popping in the bright sunshine. Its normally pretty quiet there, but the nice weather and proximity to Halloween had many people bustling around there today. I have to admit its one of my favorite places in the city. When I am there I feel grounded in nature and my own mortality.   

 The Keeper of the LIGHT

Susan B. Anthony is one of my heroes. She has done some truly amazing things. A life well lived. May she rest in PEACE 

some are starting to be forgotten... 

An ANGEL  keeps watch.

But this is the one that really breaks my heart...



Can you still have fun??

Can you still have FUN???

So, life is hard, it really is. Having a chronic pain and fatigue certainly does not make it any better. Being broke, broken, and lost — it all SUCKS!! 

But ya know what?

We have a lot of FUN!

I can still have FUN!

I can still smile and laugh!

 If my legs don’t want to let me dance, I am still content to sit.

 I am just so happy to be there.

So happy! So in LOVE! Dancing with my soulmate at Phish.

(maybe a little drunk too, hee hee hee)

Me with my BFFs    I LOVE these girls!!

We got really close!

Page Side = Rage Side

On Wednesday, October 20th 2010 we went to Utica to see Phish play. We had more fun then I could even imagine. It was AMAZING to say the least!!

The tunes ---->

Set 1: My Soul, Stealing Time From The Faulty Plan, Vultures, Wolfman's Brother > Cities > Guyute, David Bowie, Wilson > McGrupp and the Watchful Hosemasters > Saw it Again > Run Like An Antelope

Set 2: Drowned > Sand, Theme from the Bottom, Axilla > Birds of a Feather, Tela, Split Open and Melt > Have Mercy > Piper > Split Open and Melt > Slave to the Traffic Light

Encore: Good Times Bad Times

"Good times, bad times, you know I've had my share."

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Today I honor my baby Page. I lost him at 15 weeks pregnant on March 13, 2010. This tiny baby has changed my life. I am happy to have him, even if our time together was too short.

I am proud to call myself, his mommy.

These are the just some of candles I lit in memory of my own baby, and all the other babies gone too soon.

"Its better to have loved and lost,

then to never have loved at all"



Calling in Sick

If I had a job, I would have called in sick. I did not do much of anything today. I guess all the activity from a busy weekend wiped me out. Dumb Fibromyalgia. I will never get used to feeling like crap! At least my body waited til Monday. I could blame the rain. I tend to blame the weather a lot. I feel like crap everyday, but some days are better, while others are much worse. I do my best not to complain, no one wants to hear it. And honestly I try to focus on being happy. When I smile through my pain its not for you, its for me, to try to convince myself I am happy. Its not all an act, I am pretty happy. I fight everyday to NOT let pain and fatigue totally ruin my life. Of course, it certainly slows me down. I also get a bit cranky when I am in pain, but I do my best to keep that in check. On days when I am exhausted, I just sleep, but I can't say I am sad, or happy, or anything, just asleep. Its not too bad, until I wake up and realized another day just slipped by. Oh well, I get to try again tomorrow.

The Broken Column by Frida Kahlo

I think Frida says it best in this painting. You know what they say "a picture is worth a thousand words." 

My hero.



Honor Flight

Operation Welcome Home

We were one of the loudest and largest families.

The welcome crew

My Grandpa. My hero. So proud of you!!

My Grandpa (aka Poppy), Forrest Lane was cheered on by his loving family at Operation Welcome Home. We are so proud of his service. He was in the Navy during WWII. This is just one of the amazing things he has done with his life. He is also the patriarch, and chief to a large united tribe of loving individuals. Over the weekend Forey participated in Honor Flight and visited the WWII memorial in Washington, DC. His son (my uncle) Jim went along with him. My Poppy is my hero for sure!! I really do love that guy!!!

Thanks Poppy!



Happy gum for your crappy life.

Someone gave me this today. I so needed this! Sure made me smile :) Ha ha ha.

The water was rough, but the sun was shining.

God was here
  God is here

      God is everywhere

The water was rough, but the sun was shining.













We went for a drive to the lake today. We stopped at Shutts for fried cakes and apple cider and took them to the park. There was no nature walk, it was causing too much pain. I was just grateful to feel the sun on my face and watch the waves crash in for a little while.  

Eye

Page of Justice

Page of:

cups

wands

swords

pentacles

JUSTICE

Please and Thank you

Please

Thank you

Today, I pray for you.

Today, I pray for myself. 

Today, my prayer is one of gratitude.

May God hear my prayer. 

ONE LOVE 

divided mind

Gotta eat.

Bob and I enjoy cooking, but we enjoy eating even more! We cook dinner together all the time. I'll be the first to admit, Bob does most of the work. And he does a great job!! We do our best to enjoy our time together, and have way too much fun making dinner.


Yesterday after the chiropractor, we stopped in the small Wegman's in Fairport. We found the most beautiful vegetable I have ever seen-- Romanesco or Roman cauliflower. The star of our dinner on Friday night.

Truly beautiful. A perfect example of fractals in nature. Or as we joked about in the kitchen: "fractal-ious."

We cooked it with a bit of water, olive oil, and garlic. It tasted more like cauliflower then broccoli. It was subtle, with a nice texture. We both agreed it was super yummy, and would definitely recommend it.

Bob made meatballs and angel hair pasta, and did basicly everything, while I hung out and snapped pictures. Did I mention that Bob rocks?!!

Nom nom nom nomom...

Umm........ So, what's for desert?

Egg-stra Lucky!

On the Equinox it is possible to stand an egg upright. According to the Chineese, doing this will bring you good luck. I assume they were the ones to discover this was possible. But I don't really know. And I can't explain how this works, but I am sure there is an explanation out there. My dad told me this as a kid, and I think one of my science teachers may have mentioned it in high school. This was my first ever attempt at it. There is a very small window in which it can be done. This years Autumnal Equinox was at 11:09 pm. This egg was stood up at about 5 after 11 and stayed that way till about 15 minutes after Midnight, when Isis, my cat, knocked it over. Thank goodness I built a rock wall, because when it was knocked over it would have made a mess on my bedroom floor. It was very fun to do, I was so excited when it really worked. Just one of those amazing things. Earth is a good planet to live on.

I hope this works because I need all the luck I can get!!

Just another Earth bound being -- Intro

I am just another Earth bound being, there are millions of us. We are all special in our own unique way. I just wanted a little place to express myself and my perspective on life on Earth. I have Fibromyalgia and it has a profound effect on my life and the way I choose to live. I live with my soul-mate, Bob, and he takes very good care of me. We have one little baby in heaven, his name is Page. His time here was very short, we lost him when I was 4 months pregnant in March 2010. His death has been my re-birth. Its been a reminder we are all here for a reason, and a reminder of how fragile life really is. I have been on Earth for almost 30 years, but I get the feeling my soul is much older. I spend most of my time focusing on being as healthy as possible. I do many things: Chiropractic adjustments, specific vitamins, herbs, tinctures, and teas, exercise, EFT, meditation, and energy work, just to name a few off the top of my head. I can be very intense, but I speak the truth. The truth can sometimes be painful, and other time enlightening. I live my life as an open book, I am not a fan of secrets. I do not hide from my mistakes and I face my fears head on (with or without courage). If you want to know something just ask, but be prepared, it may not be the answer you were looking for. Stay tuned, I have no idea where this is gonna go or what I will end up writing about.