In response....

Tragedy struck. It will be ingrained in history. Let us not respond with fear or revenge and hatred or anger. Lets respond with Love, compassion, empathy -unity. This is not about gun control - not even violent video games. Its about love, the ability to give and sometimes more importantly- recieve love. Why are we blaming the guns and not the mental health system that failed this kid or psychotropic drugs this guy was on? Pharmacuticals are killing people at alarming rates. The "zombies" are real. They are drugged.  These brain altering chemicals are dangerous. I mean, if we are gonna point fingers...
During the aftermath I avoided tv as much as possible. My knowledge of the incident is limited to a few online articles. I have been praying and meditating. My heart just breaks for these parents. Sometimes to open your heart, I mean really open your heart, it must break open. Maybe not for everybody... There is a shift happening in human consiousness its happening in our hearts. Tell someone you love them, hold your family close. Most important turn that love back in towards yourself. Feel the shift inside you. Its not about the gifts, its about the presence this Christmas. Take a step back from the trauma. Your thoughts and feelings are a part of the collective consiousness. Love and fear can not coexist. When your body releases adrenaline (the fear hormone, "fight or flight" hormone, this hormone saves lives, etc) it can not release oxytocin (love hormone). You can choose. Your choice matters.
Rebirth takes many forms. People are reborn through Christ, people change and heal and become new again. I have had many rebirths in this lifetime. You have to be willing to give your soul to the Light, and sometimes you must face the darkest parts of your shadow first.
The media wants to spread trauma, it makes them rich. They want you to be afraid, very afraid. Then you will beg to trade in your rights and privacy in the sake of safety.
Your awareness is more important then ever.
And what if we all respond with love?
It will certainly change the world.
You have the power to change the world. At the very least you have power over your own reality.
I can not expain why this sort of thing happens, I just don't know. But I find myself not just praying for the children, but also for the sick individual that did this. He was sick. He was not evil. In an act of unconditional love I have been praying for his soul too.
I feel that my fears, our collective fears feed into these traumas, even manifest them. I take responsiblity for my thoughts, my anxiety, my fear. I was afraid to be in school. I did not feel safe. Even in the years before Columbine, that occured my senior year of high school, I felt in danger at school. No one really picked on me, I was not a target of a bully, except the few times I stuck up for fellow classmates. But the point is I fed into that collective consiousness. The bomb threat drills, the lock downs, they sent a message to be prepared, violence was immenint. But what was being done to prevent violence?  Why not spend the same amount of effort offering help to the "at risk?" What do we do for the mother's begging for help?
I don't have any answers. Only more questions.
Please pray with me. Let us all join together: Protestants & Pagens, Jews & Jedis, Mormons & Muslims, let us unite in Love & Light. Unite as one human race. To pray for peace you must sit and be at peace, it strarts within each of us. Pray for love by opening your heart and let God's love flow through you. Pray for understanding, and be open to hearing answers. Be an active participant in the shift towards love.
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. Thank you for your prayers. Know that they are being heard. They will be answered.

One Love

*I have no spell check. This was written fairly quickly, but plan on editing it later for grammer and spelling.

12 12 12

Its been 1 year, 1 month, 1 day since our union. Happy Anniversary to my twin flame.
Its so amazing to be alive right now. I have been spending much of my time sleeping, meditating, and healing. Riding this wave wherever it may take me without any expectation. I am releasing what no longer serves me. I am focused on healing my body, mind, and soul. As I heal myself, I heal the planet and all life around me.
I am healing.
I am awakening.
I am remembering my power.
Spirit is flowing through me.
I surrender to the flow.

One Love

solar eclipse 5.20.2012

Fibromyalgia Awareness

May is Fibromyalgia Awareness Month

I have been coping with Fibromyalgia for many years. Its the primary reason I do not work. Its a syndrome that causes me chronic daily pain and fatigue. Some days are better then others. Some days I have some energy. Some days the pain is less intense. But it is always there and there is no escape. Fibromyalgia has no known cause or cure. 

There is tons of information available on the internet. If you want to learn more I suggest you start with http://www.fmaware.org/ or  the local group http://farny.org/ 

Or feel free to ask me anything! 

Make a wish....

Never miss an opportunity to make a wish!

But if I tell you will it still come true?

Amber & Hazelwood

This is my medicine

These necklaces are medicinal and therapeutic.

Its an added bonus they are pretty too. I just got the hazelwood one today. It also has little hematite and obsidian snowflake beads. I ordered the hazelwood from Hazelaid a company I found online. "Hazelwood products help to create an alkaline environment in your body which may help prevent and appease many of the symptoms caused by acidosis (being too acidic)." I am not sure this is what my problem is but I have some symptoms and its worth a try. At this point I am doing everything with the purpose of healing myself in mind. The other beads are good for neutralizing negativity, but I picked them for the neutral colors. I plan on wearing this every day for maximum benefits, I wanted something versatile.

The amber necklace I have had for many years. My ex's parents went to Poland and his mom brought me this beautiful necklace home. Its always been very comfortable to wear, and matches my eyes/hair/complexion very well. Amber is actually a resin from the Baltic region, when worn against the skin it releases succinic acid. This chemical reaction reduces inflammation in the body and improves the immune system. I have been wearing it pretty regularly lately. I does seem to help a little. I will have to wait and see how my hazelwood effects my symptoms. I am really hoping it helps!

Here is a before picture. The wood is supposed to turn dark after it has been worn a while, its evidence its working to alkalize the body.



Spring

Fertility

    ReBirth

Love



Be the Light

Just hanging around with the cat... 

One Love

11.11.11

111 days 



Valentine's Day

The Kiss

by

Alex Grey

This is the cover of the 2012 calendar I got for us for Valentine's Day.

These beautiful pendents were recently gifted to us. 

(Thank you Marcos!) 

They are both examples of sacred geometry.

The one on the left was given to Bob. Its Metatron's Cube.

This is a close up of the one given to me, its a Sri Yanka (or sri chakra).

I remember our first kiss.

I don't know the exact date or place, but I remember the electricity.

*the spark* 

It was amazing.

Like soul mates reuniting.

We found each other, and all was right in the world.

The Alchemist + the Herbalist = MAGIC

Y

Another Birthday

 

 Its *my* birthday and I‘m gonna have a good time!

          (well it was my birthday...)

Okay, I‘m the first to admit it, I get a little crazy with the birthday celebrations… I am happy to be alive! Another year? I‘ll take it! So why not celebrate for a few days (well, it was over a week, but whose counting?!)

31 is an accomplishment! I sure as hell, couldn‘t do it on my own. So, thanks for all the help! Thanks for enriching my life in your own unique way. (Even if I don‘t know you and you just stumbled upon my blog, thanks for taking an interest in my life.) There is so much to celebrate! I am so grateful to the people in my life that want to celebrate with me. Thank you to all of you that made it so very special for me. I love you guys!!

I don‘t take a single second for granted (or a single one of you!). I know all to well how fragile life can be. I have learned a lot from losses, and from living with a chronic condition. I enjoy my life the very best I can. So yeah, birthdays are kinda a big deal to me.

*In other news: I am very excited to be seeing a new doctor next month. I scheduled an appointment with her  next month. She is a licensed medical doctor (MD) that seems very holistic, and is educated in the field of herbal and natural medicine.  My body seems to be especially responsive to this type of treatment. This makes me very hopeful about the future, I can‘t wait to hear her recommendations.

I also just ordered a new enzyme supplement I have never tried. Systemic enzyme therapy is very popular in Europe, particularly Germany (or so I read online), and very compatible with my current health regimen. I first heard of Wobenzym at a FARNY meeting, Dr Roger Murphee was the guest speaker. I talked to him briefly afterwards and he wrote ”Wobenzym” on the back of his card and told me to do some research on my own. That same day I bought his book (Treating and Beating Fibromyalgia), and implemented many of his suggestions in the book into my lifestyle, but never got around to checking out this supplement. The other day when I was referencing his book, his card fell out…

So, I decided to give it a whirl. (It has very few reported side effects) I went on Amazon and ordered Garden of Life Recovery Capsules, a supplement that contains Wobenzym, its enroute right now. I was starting to become frustrated with my health, and I was running out of things to try. I am literally in pain, e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y. It’s a challenge- to say the least! I am better then I have been in the past, but its still there (a lot) of room for improvement. So I get really excited when I can check out new paths to healing. I know there is no magical cures for Fibromyalgia, but there are ways to improve my quality of life. From what I understand, this supplement can be taken daily, but is also quick acting and can be taken as needed. I would take this instead of a NSAID like iburpophin or naproxen. That is really cool, because my body has made it very clear to me that it does more harm then good. I used to take so much of this stuff and now I can only use these medications in times of desperation. Wobenzym also helps the body heal itself. NSAIDs on the other hand, really hurt my belly (stomach and intestinal lining, liver, kidneys, etc) after years of constant use, and now my body just can‘t tolerate these chemicals. I am done trying new pharmaceuticals. When you feel like you have tried everything, new treatment options are big news.

This is gonna be a great year.

I am really vibe-ing with being 31 and the year 2012.  



**************************************************

New Year's Eve Weekend 2011-2012 Phish live at Madison Square Garden *Honeymoon Adventure*

Happy New Year!!

*2012*  

This New Year's Eve was hands down thee best EVER!! What a way to end a great year!  An amazing way to kick off 2012 (that I know will be a great year!) and our new lives together as united soulmates ('cause it was our honeymoon too). I have a really good feeling about things. But I am an optimist no matter what. (did you read my post about being delusional ?) As you know, we love music and its what brought us together, so what better way to celebrate then with our favorite band?! Thanks again to everyone that helped make this happen. It was EPIC!

Bob and I on the super long train ride to NYC. Taken with my front facing camera on my 4G android phone (gifts we bought for ourselves after "one love")

The train was not too bad. Bigger seats then an airplane. Pretty smooth, no painful pressure changes, no seat belts restraining movement, and I could get up anytime I needed to, as often as I wanted. It was pretty quiet and I was able to nap. Much easier on my body then flying or even driving. Best part was sipping on some Pork Slap Pale Ale during the ride- can't do that in the car!! 

We left at 9am and arrived in Penn Station at 4:40. By 4:50 we had already found our friends across the street at the Penn Hotel. We bumped into Stacy in the lobby, and she helped us find the room. It was nice to be greeted by familiar faces and warm hugs.

This is the view of Madison Square Garden from their window.

(FYI- MSG is directly on top of Penn Station)

Just as we were saying hi to everyone and cracking open a beer, I got a text message from our friend Bob with this picture:

It was so nice to know our cat was cool and our apartment was ok. We could just relax and enjoy ourselves knowing everything was just fine back home.

It was getting close to show time, so we grabbed our stuff and headed to our own hotel. (We did not get tickets to the 12/30 show) The line was 45 minutes to an hour wait to get a cab. There were a few rickshaws out front, and no line for that. So we hopped in. It was an exciting ride, weaving through cut-throat traffic in mid-town Manhattan. But we did get there in one piece!  

Arriving in "style" at the swanky hipster haven, the Ace at 29th St. and Broadway.

(Other guests were arriving in limos, lol)

Upon arriving at our new "home" for the weekend, we cracked open another beer, unpacked a little and made ourselves comfortable.

The bed was comfortable! YES!!

They had all sorts of weird snacks.

I guess this is what hipsters eat?

Thank goodness we brought our own!

This was our view. The Empire State Building, just a few blocks away.

Below us was some sort of Islamic prayer center. It was so nice to hear the calls to pray when we were in our room. Every time, Bob and I would say a prayer, and we watched the men remove their shoes and go inside. Our prayers were of gratitude for 2011, and prayers filled with hope for 2012.

The radio in the room was set up so I could play my own music through my cell phone. While we hung out we streamed a SuperBall IX set through google music.

Jamming out in the hotel.

                                 

 Ahhhhhh! Its all 3D!!

They had this "not now" magnet for the door, it stayed out there all weekend.

C'mon, we don't want to be disturbed on our honeymoon.

 Everything was black, the walls, the carpet.
 The hotel had a very dark edge-y vibe.  

I put a glow stick in the bathroon for a nightlight, it just made the bathroom look creepier.

This is Bob in the creepy all black mirrored elevator.

The first thing we did was head toward Times Square.

Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square. We didn't try to go in, it looked crazy busy.

Not all that wander are lost.

The steampunk themed Macy's window display.

We grabbed a bite to eat at Ginger's on our way up to Times Square.

It was the same price as Chinese back home, and it had a very diverse atmosphere.

We went with our favorites: sesame chicken and pepper steak.

With nice full bellies we continued our adventure.

We found ourselves in front of BB King's Blues Club and Grill where the Pink Floyd tribute band "The Machine" was playing. Since we showed up during set break, the bouncer was nice enough to let us both in on one ticket.

some video from my phone:

Afterwards, we hung out in Times Square.
The "Ball" up at Times Square.

Chillin' back at the hotel after a busy day, my poor feet.

We tried to get back at a decent hour and were asleep by 2am.

(That's a decent hour in NYC- the city that never sleeps)

Around noon - 1pm we headed back out on the town. We went down to 23rd St to visit the building my first apartment was in, the George Washington. Its one of the SVA residencies.

We grabbed a bite to eat next door.

We did a little shopping.

I joked with Bob about how this little store carried shoes in his size.

In the evening we met back up with our friends at the Penn for a little pre-party.

 Now we are ready!!

set break photos: 

The crew. In the show.

Thank you for our tickets!!!

Yes, we brought the card with us!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Video from youtube.

We went back to the Penn after the show grabbed our stuff, and headed back out in search of food and beer. We briefly stopped in the Pig 'n' Whistle for one of their house beers, then went and found some street meat. We went back to our own hotel, walked around a line about half a block long to get into our hotel, flashed our room key and got right in. I guess Paper magazine was having some ultra exclusive NYE party in the lobby. While waiting for the elevator we could see all the hipsters and models dancing and jumping around to some horrific Cher remix. Not really our scene...  

We pretty much went right to bed. Not even sure what time that was...?    

We checked out of our hotel around 11:30 and went to find sandwiches. We did not have to go far, there are sandwich shops everywhere. We got some bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches to eat at Penn Station, and some turkey sandwiches to eat on the train.

Bob waiting for our train in Penn Station.

The ride home felt like forever!! I was sore and tired. (totally worth it!)

Thankfully, I was not really hungover, I didn't go crazy with the beer.

I was also super bored.

While I was happy to be home and see my cat, I really can't wait to go back!

I <3 NY!!

Phish live at MSG NYE 2011-2012:

Set One:

1. AC/DC Bag

2. Wolfman's Brother

3. Scent of a Mule

4. Stealing Time From the Faulty Plan

5. Lawn Boy

6. Gotta Jibboo

7. Farmhouse

8. Pebbles and Marbles

9. Ocelot

10. Fluffhead

Set Two:

1. Party Time

2. Light

3. Golden Age

4. Theme from the Bottom

5. Heavy Things

6. Ghost

7. Sneakin' Sally thru the Alley

8. 46 Days

9. Suzy Greenberg

Set Three:

1. Cavern

2. Steam

3. Auld Lang Syne

4. Down with Disease

5. The Wedge

6. Alaska

7. Wading in the Velvet Sea

8. First Tube

Encore:

1. Slave to the Traffic Light